In love again

It was silly of me to imply that we might end up just friends, when we’d both been simply denying the fact that we’ve been in love with each other for a long time now.  Ridiculous.  There was no chance of it.  From the moment he called me again, we were back together.  We never stopped loving each other, even though we both hid it, in all the time we’d been broken up.  We were still in love.  We tried not to be, but we were.

I know it’s hypocritical of me to be back in a monogamous, serious relationship so soon, considering all I’ve said denouncing just that.  I’ve spent the past eight months being what the kids call very single, and it was an utter blast.  It was 100% positive and healing and genuine, and it taught me a lot.  I needed that experience.  Now it’s a part of my (recent) past, and it has shaped who I am and how I approach a relationship.  He’s older than me, but we’re on more even ground.  We’ve both experienced love and loss, and we’ve both experienced adulthood singledom.  We know the pros and cons of both.  We know what we’re doing when we get into this relationship.  There are sacrifices and consequences.  There are benefits and guarantees.  As long as we both continue to be as forthcoming and honest with each other as we’ve been since the very start, the first time around, I have a feeling we’ll be just fine.

Speaking of forthcomingness, I discovered the first time we dated that I benefit so much from knowing about a man’s past.  He was always so willing to talk and share and communicate any and all details, and it really helped me understand and accept the situation as it was.  His open communication with me about both the high and low points of his marriage, for instance, was so beneficial and important to our success as a couple.  There’s no way I could’ve handled it without knowing everything he said.  But he made me understand.  That’s something I hadn’t gotten from other relationships.  There was always so much mystery to them, and my imagination ran wild.   That doesn’t work and it’s not healthy.  I need to know what I’m dealing with, because it’s the only way I can deal.

He’s been through a lot, but I’ve got his back.  I’ll always be there for him, and I trust him now to always be there for me.  Neither of us are willing to let each other down.  I hurt him before and he hurt me.  But from now on, we’re only going to build each other up.  We’re going to support and empower and inspire each other.  Together, we really are something special.

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