Life & Love

Being that this winter in the Midwest has been exceptionally cold and snowy, I naturally can’t help missing California, especially since their winter has been exceptionally warm and sunny.  Actually, though, the weather hasn’t affected me much (minus the car crash) because I’m never outside.  Sometimes I have to walk a few blocks from the el to a venue or a friend’s house, but for the most part, I’m always out of the elements.

Regardless, California is such a lovely place, and I can see myself possibly moving back there someday.  Chicago is where I want to spend the rest of my groupie years, though.  It’s a great place for it.  Once I’m too old for that, in my thirties, I’ll focus on traveling instead.  Hopefully I’ll have a little money and be able to explore foreign continents as authentically as possible.  After I’ve accomplished a good amount of my travel goals, that’s when I’ll start considering having a house and putting down serious roots.  Since I’ll have seen more of the world, I’ll have a better idea of where I want my home base to be.  Maybe it’ll be California.  Maybe it won’t.

It’s cool to have sort of a basic map for the road of life ahead, because I spent my whole life up to age 20 waiting for the now.  The life I’ve had for the past five years–but especially the past year–is what I’ve always been working toward.  But it’s going to come and go, and I was never really sure what I’d do next, besides write my autobiography.  Now I have plans of seeing Europe and South America and then DIY-building my dream home somewhere.  I also want to get more involved with feminist activism and mentoring young girls.  Now look, I realize I might be an unlikely role model, but I think I have a lot to offer because I’m realistic.  I’m not gonna bullshit kids.  I can give advice and friendship, but I’ll also be honest about stuff–like, say, the fact that most drugs are actually okay in moderation, or that it’s fine to change to fit in as long as you’re still true to yourself, or that fun should always trump responsibility and conventionality.

Someone recently told me that I was wasting my time by doing this casual dating stuff, and I thought about it for awhile simply due to how wrong it was.  Clearly, my time is not being wasted when I’m enjoying myself so much and having such meaningful interactions with men.  When I’m positively on cloud nine dancing around with someone and hugging and kissing and singing my heart out, feeling so momentarily in love, nothing is being wasted.  Just because we all have other sexual partners too doesn’t mean the way we feel about each other isn’t genuine and special and beautiful.  Nothing of the sort.

Different romantic partners can fill a different need in a person’s life.  Some girls give really great head.  Other girls have really great conversations.  There are all sorts of needs to fulfill, and I like that I can fill one or another need in a guy’s life, just as different guys fill the different needs in my life.  It’s all relative to experiences, anyway.  For some guys, I’m that girl who’s awesome in bed, and for other guys, I’m the one with the highest intellect.  It’s totally relative to each person’s lifestyle and other partners.  But none of us are less or more important for it.

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